Life lessons. Never know when you need to teach one

There are many things in life that are dreadful in life. Nails down a chalkboard. Drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. Rubbing alcohol on a paper cut. Paper cuts. Taking prisoners to a craft store. 

Don't get me wrong, the things inside these stores can entertain prisoners for hours. The issue is being in the store that smells like potpourri with 3 prisoners, all whom have their own and vastly different agendas. Tonight was one of those trips. Initially scheduled to get #1 a t-shirt for a tie dye project, it quickly devolved as #3 found knock off American Girl Doll clothes. #2, in typical male fashion, wanted nothing to do with the store because there were no video games. 

Luckily there were few people in this particular store tonight, and no older ladies to glare at the guard as the prisoners ran in different directions in search of something to insist they could not live another moment without. 

After what seemed like 14 hours, the three prisoners converged on one single isle. At the end was a cardboard display of markers of which each color had a different smell which resembled little like the advertising and brought back memories of elementary art class where you always tried to shove your buddy's head into the market as he sniffed it. 

This display is remarkable due to the fact that other out of control prisoners previously found it and 'tested' the markers, making it look like a subway train leaving the Bronx. My prisoners decided to tag the display as well. #2 wrote his name in his favorite color. #3 drew flowers and also wrote her name. #1 wrote a name as well. But it was a name that we all share-- our family name. Perfect teaching moment for a life lesson-- NEVER write your last name when doing graffiti. It is bad enough to use your first name, but at least there is a chance that someone else shares your first name. Last names, at least ours, are not common. 

So, there is a craft store, with a cardboard display that is now tagged with enough incriminating evidence that a simple google search would likely lead a craft store manager to our front door. But, at least it is not spray paint on a highway overpass. Thankfully I got that lesson over before it became more of a problem. 

Some days, you just gotta brag....

Anyone who has met our prisoners in person will tell you they are really good. The warden and I sometimes comment that we have 6 prisoners-- three who go out in public as saints, and 3 who are terrors behind prison doors. I am happy that it works out that way as the inverse would just be too much. 

Also, as anyone who has met the prisoners can attest, #1 has difficulty with speech-- something she works hard at in therapy and is acutely aware of. Her teachers and therapist have stated numerous times how children like her are usually introverted and are scared to speak up. But not our #1. Perhaps it is because she has always been in class with #2.  While they do not have their own 'twin language' that is often times reported about twins, #2 could always understand her when others could not. He is her biggest supporter and I can only imagine that it helps her confidence. Perhaps it is just because she is a strong and confident young person. 

Confidence is something parents always hope their children will have, and we have it in excess with all three of our prisoners. Case in point, and my reason to brag, is that today at their organized playground, karaoke was set up. Now karaoke is a favorite pastime in the prison. Almost daily the machine is cranked up to ear shattering levels with Frozen songs, and more recently top 40 hits from Taylor Swift, Megan Trainor, Maroon 5 and even Jimmies Chicken Shack (a favorite of the Guard!). 

Upon pick up at playground today, they informed me about the karaoke. To my delight, #1 informed me that she performed 4 songs. In front of everyone. Her peers, older kids (up to 12 and 13), and staff (high school kids). Personally, I have had to work hard in my life to be able to speak in front of groups of people, and here is our oldest, performing in front of people. Speech be damned-- she has no fear. Predictably, #2 did not perform-- he is a boy, with some older friends, and already is starting to determine what is 'cool' for the cool boys to do. But, one of the things he does think is cool is to support his sibling as he stated how well she did, and how everyone applauded her. 

So yeah. I am bragging. Deal with it. 

Have I become "that" Guard/Dad?

The summer at the prison has been fun for the prisoners. They go to an organized playground every morning of the week for a few hours. They play with other prisoners in the community. They come back for lunch and either go to the community pool for the afternoon or play with other prisoners in the neighborhood. #3 is away at camp (aka she is spending a week being pampered at her great Aunt and Uncles house in Virginia-- thank you!!). Sprinkle in some swim lessons and other activities and you have a summer that make parents, guards and wardens very jealous. 

Today though, I did something that made me think-- wow, I am "that" guard (dad) now. Picking up #1 and 2 from playground, they were waiting on the street with a buddy when I arrived. As my prisoners were strapping into their transport, their buddy stood and waited for his warden to pick him up. An older gentleman walking a dog stopped and was speaking to him. I never saw this guy before, so I put the transport in park, and stared at the rear view mirror. Who was this guy?  Why was buddy talking to a stranger?  I am not moving until this buddy's warden shows up. Complete paranoia ensues. 

Maybe it was the rash of attempted luring at bus stops this spring where bad people were trying to get kids in their van. Maybe it was the attempted luring of  3 girls two months ago, just two blocks from our prison in a quaint suburban community. Maybe it was a lot of things, but I immediately felt I needed to stay. While I stared intensely at the mirror, debating if I wanted to start taking pictures or ask buddy if he wants to wait in our car, I began a lecture to my prisoners about speaking to strangers. It is a lecture they know well, even if they don't understand it completely. 

With the lecture complete, buddy's warden arrives. And she begins talking to the 'stranger'. They know each other.  Stranger is not a stranger. Realization kicks in that I have become "that" dad. I have justified it to myself that I did the right thing. At least I did not make a scene, and what really is the harm of sitting in our transport vehicle a few minutes?  

I am comforted by the notion that 'it takes a village', but am I installing fear into my prisoners and subjecting them to the fears of a potentially helicopter parent?  I guess this is the world we live in unfortunately-- or so I tell myself. Gone are the days when I, at the same age as my prisoners, would 'disappear' during summer days with my buddies.  Never worrying about anything other than making sure I was back at my prison by dinner. Hours spent in a local creek or river, at a baseball field, stealing vegetables from the gardens of neighbors for our lunch, bouncing from buddy's home to buddy's home and traveling wherever our bikes took us, within the vast boundaries set by our guards and wardens of course. I feel my childhood was like that of the kids in 'Stand by Me'-- without ever finding a dead kid, of course.  

Am I depriving my prisoner's that experience?

Only time will tell but for now my prisoners, and their buddy, are safe and sound and will live to play another day. 

It's been a while.... or, We are in the doldrums

It's been a while. The prison has been functioning, but honestly, the days just seemed to have melted together. I attribute it to the roller coaster of prison life. There is the initial stage of the newness. Then the doldrums. Then there is some sort of watershed moment, followed by doldrums. The cycle continues. We are in the doldrums. The daily grind. The same thing each day, but only slightly different. 

Doldrums: the maritime use. We are in it. Need some fresh wind for our sails. 

So what is different enough that I have put thumbs to touchscreen?  Not much really. A simple conversation over adult drinks with some friends with a comment of, "you should write a book."  That was followed by, um yeah, I had this blog.....  Which was then followed by someone sending me a link to a piece written by a mom, describing the worst end of school year mom. (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3378480). Pretty funny stuff and we can totally relate, although I am too proud to admit our prison is in quiet that bad of shape. 

I read some of the first reports to reminisce. I can't really say that was my good stuff, but I wish I could come close to that again. 

So, here I am, thumbs tapping. The initial excitement to revive my blog from the hiatus has already worn off. The prison is quiet. The inmates and the warden are sound asleep. The only sounds in the prison are the humidifiers and fans that are throughout the building to act more as a distraction than as anything else. The humidifiers offer noise in the cells. The fan is to dull my snoring so the warden can sleep. I should be sleeping as well. The prisoners will be up soon. But I can't sleep. I enjoy the peace right now. And once I fall asleep, I will awake to chaos. Chaos is further away if I don't sleep. 

I can already predict the first chaotic moment that awaits. #1 lost a tooth. The tooth fairy did not arrive as scheduled and this morning I had to address her tardiness. #1 was actually happy (MUCH to my relief). She could take the tooth to school to show it off. The problem now though? I can't find the dang tooth. I am not sure if it was placed under the pillow, or if #1 hid it. She has already asked me multiple times if I am the tooth fairy so I can't just stuck the money under the pillow. It could be a trap. She is cagey like that. 

as much as I wish I could spin a yarn akin to my original daily reports, I can't. They say nothing good happens after midnight. It is also true that nothing creative happens after midnight. 

In my attempts to think of something to write, I looked back at some of my draft entries that just never panned out (yeah, this drivel made the cut, but there are many others that did not). Here is something that had potential:

There are things that have come out of my mouth that as soon as I have said it, I have immediately thought, "wow, THAT sentence has probably never been muttered outside a prison."  Here is a list. 

No. A toilet is not a good way to style your hair. 

Please do not put that lollipop in #3's ear. 

Just because a minion can do it, does not mean you can. 

Do not lick #3. 

The elf is not going to come out of the TV and take you away. 

There is not a monster in your tummy making you sick. 

Pull your pants up and do NOT stick your butt in (insert any prisoner's name)'s face.

Do not smell your finger, and no, I don't want to smell your finger either after you stuck it there. 

So, on THAT low note, I will sign off. The prison is still standing. The prisoners are still alive. There are still only 3 of them.